Is anxiety always a bad thing?

If you are someone who struggles with anxiety it may be hard at times to see the upside of your anxiety. Or you may clearly see the ways it helps you and that makes it harder for you to want to let it go.

Anxiety is not always bad and often it helps us! If we did not have anxiety we would not look both ways before crossing a street or prepare for that big presentation at work. Anxiety helps us to be safe and to try to set us up for success.

When we feel anxious about our future it encourages us to save for retirement. When we feel anxious about our future health it can prompt us to take better care of ourselves through exercise and nutrition. When we feel anxious about a relationship not surviving it can encourage us to take time to invest in that relationship to make it stronger.

Where anxiety starts to become a problem is when it starts to get in our way. Sure, anxiety is the thing that motivates us to prepare for the big presentation, but it can also be the thing that freezes us in fear from ever preparing at all because the idea of the presentation just seems too overwhelming.

There seems to be a “right size” for fear and anxiety. One where it is big enough to help us take action and motivate us but not so large that it starts to overwhelm us and paralyze us.

The good news is often when it comes to anxiety we can take steps to right size it.  That presentation at work feels overwhelming? What would be the very first baby step to preparing? Is it picking a topic and creating an outline? Does that feel doable? Yes? Great! If not, we can break it down further. Brainstorm topics but don’t pick one yet.

This may sound silly or obvious but just think about all the times we don’t do this. All the times that we let fear get in the way of what we want or need to do. Sure, this may take some extra effort or intentionality but it moves you toward your goals, then it may very well be worth it.

Anxiety is not always bad. But having the anxiety be too large can absolutely get in our way. What are you feeling anxious about? What steps can you take to right size the anxiety?

Anxiety Therapist in Charlotte, NC

Theresa Leskowat MS LCMHC is a therapist in the Dilworth / Southend area of Charlotte, NC. Theresa specializes in helping clients decrease anxiety, manage perfectionism and lower stress.

Does Therapy Help With Anxiety?

Maybe you have felt anxious your whole life, or maybe anxiety is a brand new experience for you with a recent panic attack; either way, you are wondering does therapy really work? How can talking to someone for an hour a week or every other week really change anything? Research again and again shows that therapy really does work! And it helps in a variety of ways.

Understanding Anxiety

The first thing therapy does is help you understand your anxiety more. What are some of the root causes of this anxiety? What are your anxiety triggers? You likely have some anxiety triggers you don’t fully recognize or understand. For example let’s say you have a fear of flying. What is the thought that is triggering the anxiety? Two people can have the same anxiety but it is being triggered for very different reasons. For example maybe your fear of flying has nothing to do with flying in an airplane and everything to do with navigating the airport or missing your flight. Or maybe the fear of an airplane has nothing to do with being in the air and everything to do with being in a tight space with 200 strangers. So the first step in therapy often includes increasing your awareness and understanding of your anxiety.

Changing your relationship with anxiety

The second thing that tends to happen is a shift in a client’s relationship to anxiety. Often times clients come in wanting to stop feeling anxious. But that is not exactly how that works, what ends up happening is they start to shift their story around anxiety. Anxiety is a part of themselves that is looking out for them and those they love. Clients begin to have some gentleness and understanding that this is not a bad part of themselves but rather a loving part that is simply over-protective. And when they start to shift this relationship the hold that anxiety used to have starts to loosen.

Gaining tools for managing anxiety

Therapy helps clients gain tools for managing anxiety. You know that advice you have probably heard a million times? Take deep breaths. Not likely the thing you want to hear when you are anxious but understanding how our breathing impacts anxiety, or managing anxiety can give us a real time tool for when anxiety starts to creep up. Therapy helps clients to learn tools as well as practical ways to practice them and use them. Deep breathing is just one example of an anxiety management tool a client may learn in therapy.

Having the language to ask for support

When clients start to understand their anxiety differently they can then explain it to those around them who love them. Therapy gives clients the language for asking for the support from those they love. (Hint: the support we want may not always be the support we need or would be most helpful. For example I have clients who for years asked for others to alter their plans because of their anxiety but in the course of therapy they realized this support was actually making their anxiety worse.)

Not in it alone

Anxiety or any other mental health struggle can be isolating and easy to think no one understands. The great thing about therapy is not having to be on the journey alone. This is your journey, we are just here to support you in it. We have helped many others on the same journey so we have some ideas of what may work but at the end of the day this about what works for YOU.

Let us know if we can support you on your journey.

Anxiety Counselor in Charlotte, NC

Theresa Leskowat MS, LCMHC is a therapist in the Dilworth/Southend area of Charlotte, NC. Theresa specializes in helping clients manage anxiety, mange perfectionism, lower stress, and process grief and loss.

What does it mean to be a highly sensitive person?

The term “highly sensitive person” is a term we have been hearing a lot recently. What does it mean exactly? It’s referring to the fact that some individuals seem to pick up on other people’s emotions more easily. These individuals pick up on more subtle things going on around them, picking up more information. These individuals are also more sensitive to stimulus of the senses such as sounds or smells. This larger amount of information coming at someone can be a lot and may at times feel overwhelming. 

Anxiety and Depression in individuals who are Highly Sensitive

Highly Sensitive Person is a term that has been popularized but is not a mental health diagnosis. In fact about 15-20% of the population is considered to be highly sensitive. So if you at times feel overwhelmed and alone in this, know that you are not alone! Being highly sensitive can occur along side certain mental health diagnosis such as anxiety or depression and they can feed off of each other but they are separate.

Being Highly Sensitive is a Superpower

Often times when clients identify as being a highly sensitive person they view as a negative. I don’t agree. I think with every superpower comes some form of kryptonite and I view being more sensitive as a true super power. And as Spiderman’s uncle tells him “with great power comes great responsibility”.

Positives of being highly sensitive is that you probably have high empathy for those around you. You make a good friend and a good family member. You care deeply for others. Others can easily feel understood by you. 

Boundaries are important

The problems start to come when we don’t put boundaries around this. For example if I see someone pan handling and I feel so much empathy for them that it brings my afternoon down. So how can we start to put boundaries on our caring? How can we use it where it matters most and let go of the rest? 

A helpful question you can ask is “does this help them?” Does me thinking about a pan handler all day help them? If the answer is no, then I can give myself permission to let that go. Does having empathy for a friend during a challenging time help her? If I am listening and supporting her in that moment then yes! What a great time to flex my superpower! 

Charlotte Therapist for Anxiety

Theresa Leskowat MS LCMHC is a Charlotte based therapist who specializes in working with clients to lower anxiety, manage stress, and cope with perfectionism.

Learned Helplessness

There are certain terms we use in the field of psychology. Some of these terms have become popular buzz words. One example of this is the term Learned Helplessness.  I wanted to offer some clarity around these buzz words because often times clients or friends will ask me about them and ask me if they “have it”. We will talk about what Learned Helpless is but first I wanted to talk about what it is not. 

 Not a mental Health Diagnosis

Learned Helplessness is not a diagnosis. You could look in the DSM-5 all day long and you won’t find it anywhere in there. So in that sense you can not “have” learned helplessness per se. 

When people use the language asking if they “have” something such as learned helpless, imposter syndrome, or highly sensitive personality this does not really fit. Because when we talk about someone having something that generally refers to a diagnosis such as anxiety, depression, or adjustment disorder. With that said these terms do have meaning and can be worth talking about.

To give you a better understanding of this term, learned helpless, I think it is important to start from the beginning. Where did this term come from? What are it’s origins? 

Well like many terms or phrases in psychology the term learned helpless came from a study. And, like many psychology studies this research experiment involved dogs. So if you are a big dog lover you may want to skip this next paragraph. I am by no means condoning what they did, but just relaying the facts of what happened.  

In 1967, researchers put dogs in cages and began to send electric shocks through the floor that shocked the dogs. One set of dogs had a lever and when they pushed it, the shocks ended. If you have a dog you know they can be pretty smart! So the dogs learned pretty quick how to make the pain stop. Another set of dogs were paired with the first set. Their shocks ended when the other dog pushed the lever. This second set of dogs had no ability on their own to stop what was happening to them. What the researches found was that the dogs ended up laying in ball and whimpering. The researches then made a way for the dogs to be able to escape their cages. The first set of dogs quickly learned how to get out of these terrible electrified cages while the second group continued to lay in a ball and not try to leave the cage because they had already learned that the situation was out of their control.

How does this apply to humans? I’m sure you can already start to guess. (See that terrible backstory was helpful!) We as humans also learn from our experiences. If we are in a situation that we have learned that we can not impact in any meaningful way than we stop trying. (Have you ever heard that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result? See it makes sense to stop trying if something is not working! We learn from our experiences!) 

Let’s say a child has a parent who likes things done in a particular way such as making the bed. The child may want to please the parent and therefore makes his or her own bed. Now let’s say the parent every morning tells the child why its not good enough. “No, no you have to pull the sheets tight like this and the corners just like this.” If this continues on every morning the child will pretty quickly learn that he or she is not making the parent happy with how he/she made the bed so will likely stop making the bed all together. Another example may be a child with ADHD, the child begins to learn that they struggle in school and don’t get good grades but don’t know why. They soon start to internalize the messages that they are told “You are not smart” or “You are lazy. “ 

 Learned Helplessness and Depression

Again learned helpless is not a diagnosis but we often see it in individuals who may struggle with a mental health diagnosis. Learned helpless is often seen in individuals who struggle with depression. This makes sense right? If someone thinks they can’t do anything right and their efforts don’t matter that could easily lead to someone feeling discouraged and depressed. 

 Learned Helplessness and Anxiety

Our thoughts and our self talk matters! We also can see learned helpless in individuals who struggle with anxiety. Let’s say someone has social anxiety and if every time they try to go out and socialize with new people they have a panic attack then they will likely not want to go out and try anymore. 

The good news in all of this is that learned helpless is exactly that, its learned! Which means it can be unlearned. How does one begin to do this? 

1.)  Having experiences that contradict what they have previously learned

Going back to our origin story. Want to know how the dogs unlearned that they had no say over their fate? The researchers ended up physically moving their legs quite literally showing them the way to escape their cages. After a couple times of this the dogs were able to know how to escape on their own.

2.)  Using gradual exposure to begin to test these helpless thoughts.

3.)  Examine and rewrite self talk 

4.)  Work with a therapist to identify where thoughts originate and begin to re-write your story

Charlotte Therapist

Theresa Leskowat MS LCMHC is a mental health therapist in Charlotte who loves to help clients re-write their stories. Theresa specializes in anxiety counseling, counseling for perfectionism, counseling for managing stress and therapy for trauma and PTSD.

ADHD and Anxiety

Understanding the Relationship between ADHD and Anxiety

There is a popular term in the world of psychology referring to ADHD which is “neuro divergent”. So what does it mean to be neuro divergent and why do we use this term? Individuals with ADHD think and process differently than others and this term acknowledges that fact. It is not that it is bad or wrong, its just different. There are pros and cons to having ADHD but it seems often all the focus falls on the cons. 

The world we operate in tends to reflect “neuro typical” ways of thinking. And often tries to fit everyone into that box but the reality is that we don’t all fit in that box. So what happens when we don’t fit in the box? Sometimes we start to pick up on these subtle messages of “you’re not good enough”, “you are lazy”, “you are not smart enough”or  “you are not working hard enough”. 

As someone who has ADHD, when I am listening to instructions I am processing the first part of the instructions while the rest of the instructions are still being given. Or I am focusing really hard on listening to the whole instructions and will remember the last part but forget the first. In school it is encouraged to ask questions so when I was growing up I would ask “Can you repeat the instructions?” To be met with responses such as  “Why weren’t you listening the first time?” 

Over and over again we receive these non-verbal messages that We aren’t good enough, that we are smart enough. ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH. So many of these messages revolve around this idea of being enough and over the years its is easy and natural to start to internalize these messages. 

How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

In therapy we start to re-write these messages for ourselves. Re-look at the internal messages we have been telling ourselves for years and decide which ones are serving us and which ones aren’t and need to be traded in for new messages. Ready to start looking at the messages you have been telling yourself? We would love to support you in your journey. 

Charlotte Therapist

Bethani Cogburn MA, LCMHC is a therapist in Charlotte, NC who uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy along with mindfulness, mind-body approaches, and expressive arts to help clients cope with ADHD, reduce anxiety, and manage stress. Bethani is also a Registered Yoga Teacher and loves to help her clients learn how to use tools from yoga to help manage anxiety and stress.

4 Ways to Manage Anxiety While Going Back to School - COVID-19 Edition

Back to school anxiety

The first day is here...the panic sets in. How will I manage my anxiety being around others and in a classroom full of students? Will everyone be wearing masks? Will everyone stay six feet apart? Will I be okay for the whole class period? Whew!

If you are currently asking all the questions above, know that I can relate. I have returned to in-person learning myself while going back to grad school and to say that it’s been a high anxiety time is a bit of an understatement. 

During the first week of class, I have learned some good strategies that have helped me lower my stress and anxiety:

4 Ways to Manage anxiety at school

1. Shut off the news, social media, and/or any platform that is impacting your mental health. Being flooded by news related to the pandemic for hours everyday can take its toll. 99.99% of it can be upsetting and can trigger your anxiety. Take a break for a while to give yourself some peace of mind. 

2. Build relationships with those at school and in your community. You don’t have to go it alone, connect with like minded people, your classmates, and community groups. While safe measures are in place now at schools, use this in-person time by telling others how you feel. Know that you are not alone. 

3. Practice self-care with nutrition, exercise, and enough sleep. Taking care of your body has a direct impact on your mental health. Nourishing your body with healthy foods, regularly exercising, and getting 8-9 hours of sleep per night will boost your overall wellbeing. 

4. Practice mindfulness. Start your day with positive affirmations, list three things you are grateful for in a journal, and/or practice yoga or stretching activities. How you start your day can affect how the rest of your day will go. 

By using the four strategies above, I have been able to work through anxious thoughts about returning to in-person school. It is my hope that these tools will be helpful for you as well. If you find yourself struggling even after trying some of the strategies above, please know that we are here for you. At Clear Vista Counseling, we work with clients who are struggling with their stress and anxiety levels. If and when you feel ready to reach out, we are one phone call/email away.

Anxiety THerapist in Charlotte

Mina S. Rasti, MA, LCMHCA, NCC is a mental health therapist who specializes in helping clients manage anxiety, lower stress, and change their relationship with perfectionism. Are you struggling with back to school anxiety? Mina can help!

How Your Anxiety Impacts Your Children

So often in counseling we see individuals be far more willing to take their children to counseling than to go themselves. This is likely due to how deeply we love our children and want the best for them and will do whatever we need to to support them, while we sit on the back burner.  But what so many people do no understand is the ways that our own mental health greatly impacts our children.

Getting support for your children is fantastic! But at the end of the day it is an hour out of the week, what matters more is what happens at home because if you compare time amounts, that is much more time. A good child therapist will work with the parents as well as the child because of this. Your child’s therapist is likely helping you learn more ways of supporting your child at home and give you direction on how to set up things at home in a way that supports your child, their emotions and their behavior. 

 Learning to Manage anxiety

We often see that children who struggle with anxiety also have parents that struggle with anxiety. And the best way to support your child with their anxiety is actually to learn how to manage your own. Because the truth is, the most powerful way we learn is by watching others. How did your children learn to walk and talk? By watching you or their older siblings do these things before them and they copied what they saw. 

Have you ever walked into a room and you could feel there was tension in the room? We have words for that like “you could cut the tension with a knife” or we refer to “the elephant in the room”. You may not think your kids see your anxiety or that it does not impact them. But as we just proved, even if things are not expressed outwardly, we can feel it. Even if you are not acting on your anxiety it is still there. So the best way to teach your children to feel less anxious is by you building the tools to also be less anxious. When you learn those tools you will naturally model them for your children. 

Another way we teach our children to manage their emotions is by a process called “co-regulating”. Basically it means reflecting emotion back and helping them work through the emotion. If your child comes in freaked out by a snake in the yard and you also freak out than it is not teaching them how to manage their own big feelings. If your child comes in freaked out about a snake and you do not engage and blow them off, that is also not teaching them how to manage the emotion. But when they come in freaked out and you reflect the feeling back to them in your facial expressions and your words, then they feel heard and understood. Then you help them walk through what to do, such as maybe we stay out of the yard for a bit, than it shows them that the big scary emotions can be worked through and don’t have to stay big and scary.  You can see how your own ability to stay somewhat calm, cool and collected makes a big difference in this story. 

It’s a bit ironic isn’t it? The best way of supporting your children and their mental health is by making your own a priority. What they see you do is likely what they will grow up to do. Do you want them to be willing to reach out for additional support when they need it? Than it might be time that you do that very thing. 

Anxiety Therapist in Charlotte

Theresa Leskowat MS LCMHC is owner of Clear Vista Counseling and specials in treating anxiety. Theresa worked with children early on in her career and quickly realized the best way to support children was to support their parents. Theresa is passionate about working with adults and helping them to live their best life for themselves and for their children. Theresa also provides therapy for stress management, therapy for perfectionists, and divorce counseling.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Anxiety

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is shown to be one of the most effective treatments for anxiety. CBT looks at both thoughts and behaviors. 

The brain connections we use more grow stronger. So if I have a lot of anxious thoughts, that tends to strengthen those brain connections and lead to more anxious thoughts. In CBT we look at the thoughts we have and figure out if they are helpful or unhelpful. For the thoughts that are unhelpful CBT gives us tools to begin to shift our thinking and have thought replacements. 

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy we also look to see how our behaviors are either supporting us or not supporting us. Have you ever noticed that sometimes you feel anxious despite knowing in your head that the fears and anxieties don’t make sense? You probably try to tell your brain this and it just doesn’t seem to listen!

The part of our brain that runs the fight-or-flight system is a very old part of the brain, evolutionarily it existed before there was language so you could try to reason with it all day and it may not ever get the message. Luckily there are ways we can communicate to this part of our brain without the use of words. 

In CBT for anxiety you will learn a variety of grounding techniques that will help you communicate to the anxiety part of the brain so that you can access the relaxation system in your brain. And you may already know this intuitively but the anxiety, fight or flight system functions in a very different part of the brain than the relaxation system. 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy will help you train your brain to help weaken and quite literally shrink the part of your brain that is sending out the anxiety distress signals. We will also help you to literally strengthen the part of your brain that houses the relaxation system. CBT is like going to the gym for your brain! Or more simply, CBT will help you to think in a different way.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist in Charlotte, NC

Theresa Leskowat MS LCMHC is owner and founder of Clear Vista Counseling in Charlotte, NC. Theresa provides CBT for anxiety relief, stress management, depression reduction, and managing perfectionism.

Managing Stress from the Outside In

There is a lot to be stressed out about in the world. You could probably take a moment right now and come up with a half dozen or more things going on in your life or the world around you that cause you stress. I would ask you to do that, but it might raise your stress.

Instead, I’d like to focus on managing stress.

Reducing Stress during Stressful Times

In my practice as a therapist, I hear a lot about stress over things outside people’s control. In the world of psychology, we call this an “external locus of control.” It means that your sense of well-being and control in life is determined by things outside of you. In other words, it means that the weather, time, traffic, and other people control what you think and how you feel.

The solution to this is an “internal locus of control,” where you decide what you think and feel about what life has handed you, and you determine how you respond. It means that when it rains, you decide to read a book by a fireplace. When you’re late, you decide if it was alright to be late this time. When there’s traffic, you choose to adjust your expectations and listen to a podcast. When someone does something to hurt you, you decide how much.

How do you make the switch from an external to an internal locus of control?

Lowering Stress By Shifting Your Focus

As one of my undergraduate professors used to say, “Awareness is curative.” The first step is becoming aware that this is what you’re doing. You can do this right away by simply paying attention to what you’re saying in your head about the events that happen in your life. Write them down if it’s helpful so you can look at them closer later. If they sound like “this is happening to me” or “that is causing my feelings and reactions,” you probably have an external locus of control.

Managing Stress By Changing Your Thoughts

Next, decide how you want to think, feel, and respond to these situations. Try to be realistic and not overly positive. For example, if traffic has you stressed you might decide you want to be calm and not worry how much extra time it’s taking you to get to where you are going. You’ll need to choose what lens you want to look through and the thoughts you can get behind in order to make this happen. You might tell yourself something like, “This is taking longer than I’d like. But I think I’ll use this time to listen to relaxing music or start to let go of my hectic work day.”

Practicing Decresaing Stress

Now just because you decide to think these things and feel these ways doesn’t mean you automatically will. It will take time and practice. Like any new behavior, it will feel forced at first. However, this is how habits are formed. The more you go through these motions and see what happens, the more natural it becomes. You might even begin to make small changes to your thoughts and reactions to make them more doable or believable for yourself.

Once you’ve got a game plan for yourself, start practicing as much as possible and don’t forget to pay attention to the actual results! Many people with anxiety are used to ignoring the positives and focusing on the negatives, so changing this will take effort on your part. Notice how much less tense your shoulders were at the end of your drive or how grateful you were that you didn’t react with anger or impulsivity. Allow yourself to notice the positives to help encourage the behavior and increase your motivation to do it again.

Lowering Stress and Anxiety Over Time

As I said before, this process takes time for you to believe the new positive attitude and to build the habit. Make sure to give yourself plenty of compassion as you make mistakes to avoid backsliding. Instead, realize that like with every change there will be times where you take two steps forward and one step back. You’re aiming for progress not perfection.

How will you know when you’ve achieved an internal locus of control?

When you stop focusing on the destination and allow yourself to engage the journey in front of you, you’ll forget about the destination and it will just happen. It will still take effort, but eventually you will feel the relief and one day remember the goal you were aiming for and realize you’d been hitting it for a while without even thinking about it.

Go out there and give it a try! I know you can do it. How do I know that? Because every person has the ability, simply be being human. It’s all a matter of choosing to take hold of it for yourself.

About the Author

Aaron Potratz is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Approved Clinical Supervisor in Oregon. He owns a private group practice, Discover Counseling, and co-owns another private group practice that he supervises, Life Discovery Counseling Services. He has been a therapist since 2007 and specializes in anxiety, trauma, and relationships, and offers online counseling throughout the state of Oregon. Aaron also does consulting for therapists who are starting or growing their private practices.

Why Do I Have Anxiety?

When you struggle with anxiety it can feel overwhelming and natural to ask why. Why do I have anxiety? Why is this happening to me? Why do I struggle with things that seem to come so naturally to others? Why can’t I feel the things I know in my head. I know it’s a silly thing to worry about falling into a sinkhole but I can’t help it. Does any of this sound familiar? 

 Understanding Anxiety

I am someone who likes answers. I loved Psychology in school because it had so many answers to why people do the things they do. I love to understand myself and others. I am someone who reads about research studies in my spare time. So let’s look to what the research says about why you have anxiety.

 

Anxiety in the Brain

There is a part of your brain whose job it is to tell you when there is danger. It’s like a smoke detector that sends the alarm signal. This alarm signal will then tell the fight-or-flight response to leap into action! As you may have noticed some individuals have a more sensitive “smoke detector”. 

Is Anxiety Genetic?

Why do some individuals have a more sensitive “smoke detector”? There are a few different reasons for this! One is simple genetics. In general we are all decedents of scared people. Those individuals who were more anxious and cautious are the ones who lived long enough to have offspring. The people who slept where they thought it would be safest of built their house on a more solid foundation because they could imagine what might happen otherwise tended to be the ones who survived.

Life Experiences and Anxiety

Another reason that some individuals have more anxiety than others is because we have had different experiences. One cool thing about the brain is that connections we use more get stronger. That means if you practice the piano everyday those brain connections get stronger and playing becomes easier. The connections we don’t use grow weaker. How’s your high school Spanish that you don’t ever practice? You see my point. 

So if I have had a lot of life experiences that have taught my brain that the world is not safe than the danger sensor in my brain is going to be more practiced and stronger! Or if I am just really good at imagining all the scary what ifs that could happen and I practice these brain connections everyday, then once again that part of my brain is going to be very strong! 

Is my Anxiety getting worse?  

Anxiety without treatment tends to get worse over time. This is because anxiety has us practicing these unhelpful brain pathways. But the good news is that we can learn how to practice those pathways less to help weaken this part of the brain that has grown so strong. And that is exactly what Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is all about!

Anxiety Counselor in Charlotte, NC

Theresa Leskowat MS LCMHC is a mental health therapist in Dilworth area of Charlotte, NC. Theresa provides cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety relief, depression relief, stress management, and managing perfectionism.

Nine Ways to Maintain Mental Health While Social Distancing

Humans are meant to be with one another. Research shows that connection is one of the big drivers of happiness. So what do you do when you are social isolating to maintain a big of sanity? I have compiled a list of things you can do to help promote positive mental health even while staying in.

Read a Book 

Take this extra time in as a time to read for enjoyment or read to be able to learn something new. This can be a great time to choose to grow you mind. How often do we just get so busy that we don’t have time to read? Well look at that, now you do!

Journal

It can be hard to simply be with ourselves. Look at this time as a time you get to spend quality time with the most important person in your life, yourself! Slow down, check in, see how you are doing. Write about it.

Meditate

Studies have shown that often humans would choose to receive an electric shock rather than sit with themselves and their thoughts. Sitting with yourself is a skill. This may be a great time to develop that skill and muscle. And this is a skill that be extremely valuable even when it is time to begin socializing again.

Call a Friend or Family member

As mentioned before, we are not meant to live life alone. Community matters. Get creative in finding ways to connect with people even when you can not be with them. Maybe you give them a call, hang out via facetime, send them a thoughtful text, or write them a letter. 

Do something creative

Let your creative juices flow! Take some time to write, draw, paint, color, build, knit, or whittle! Don’t know how to whittle? Now may just be the time to learn! 

Go for a walk

The days are starting to get longer and the temperatures are starting to warm up, you don’t have to be stuck inside. Sometimes social distancing and the lack of being able to go out and about can make it feel like we are living in a perpetual snow storm, but the great news is that we are not! Get outside, soak up some sunshine, and go for a walk.

Do some yoga

A number of yoga studios are beginning to figure out ways to offer classes online. Bring some mindful movements to your body by finding an online class. There is also a great yoga app, Downward Dog that is also a great resource. 

Find Speical Offerings Online

Some museums are offering online virtual tours and the Metropolian Opera (https://www.metopera.org) is offering online opera. What a great way to still find some culture even while being at home!

Find a Telehealth Therapist

If you want to have some additional support during this crazy time, find a therapist who offers online sessions. Or if you simply want to truly spend your extra time doing that internal work of learning about yourself, sitting with yourself and choosing to grow. How cool that you can get that professional support from the comfort of your own home! With your therapist you can set goals and actively work to accomplish them, how great to have growth and movement even while physically being still. 

Charlotte Therapist

Theresa Leskowat MS LCMHC is owner of Clear Vista Counseling in Dilworth area of Charlotte, NC. Theresa also offers online therapy. Theresa specializes in treating anxiety, managing stress, managing perfectionism, treating depression, as well as therapy for trauma and PTSD.

Five Step to Managing Anxiety During The Coronavirus Outbreak

We are living through some very scary times. Every day the news coming out about Coronavirus seems to be worse than the day before as the number of cases in our country climbs. You want to be informed but the stress, worry and anxiety regarding this pandemic is wearing on you. And you want to remain calm and grounded for the sake of your loved ones around you. You are not sure how to manage your anxiety when there is just so much to be scared about!

Understanding Anxiety

We come from a long line of anxious ancestors. The humans who had the ability to see ahead of time potential dangers and do something to prevent them, are the humans who lived long enough to have children. If a man could imagine that the river may flood and wash away his home would be more likely to put his home in an area that would be safer. 

Anxiety Serves a Purpose

Anxiety serves the purpose of helping us to make a plan of action. Anxiety is the thing that is helping you to currently take action to protect yourself and your family from the current virus. So you can thank your anxiety for the ways it is keeping you safe!

But at what point does anxiety no longer serve a purpose? After you have taken all the precautions you can to protect yourself and those you love than it is no longer helpful. 

Managing Anxiety Step 1: Focus on the Areas You Can Control

The first step in managing anxiety during this pandemic is to focus on the areas you can control. There is so much about this outbreak that is absolutely out of our control. We all have loved ones near and far that we can’t make take all of the precautions we want them to. So determine the areas that you do have control over and focus on those. Maybe your kids are home from school. How can you best support them and help them stay calm during this crazy time? 

Managing Anxiety Step 2: Find Something Fun to Do

Maybe you do a game night, arts and crafts, or a movie marathon. You may not be able to get together with everyone you care about but maybe you can virtually get together. Yatzee over Facetime anyone? 

Managing Anxiety Step 3: Find the Silver Linings

There is so much that is scary and painful right now. Find those small things that you are grateful for. Maybe you are getting to work from home so you are no longer having to commute. And maybe the lack of commute is giving you some extra time to do something you don’t normally get to do. 

Managing Anxiety Step 4: Self-Care

You may find yourself at home more or having some extra time on your hands because you are no longer commuting to work. Take some of that time to practice some self-care. Take a bath, read a book, journal, meditate. All of the things will help to relax your body and your mind during this stressful time. 

Managing Anxiety Step 5: Find Support

Call a friend or a family member. We are in this together. And if you want some additional support find a therapist who is providing telehealth! This recent virus has prompted many therapists to learn how to use the technology to connect to our clients virtually. Even when we are social distancing we don’t have to feel alone.

Anxiety Therapist in Charlotte

Theresa Leskowat MS LCMHC is an anxiety counselor in Charlotte, NC. She also provides telehealth counseling for clients all over North Carolina. Theresa is owner of Clear Vista Counseling in the Dilworth area of Charlotte. Along with anxiety therapy, Theresa also provides stress management counseling, trauma and PTSD therapy, counseling for perfectionists, and divorce counseling.

Yoga for Anxiety and Stress Relief

I know, I know you never saw this one coming from a trained yoga teacher. But let me just say, I was a fan of yoga before I ever stepped into a yoga studio. That is because I knew all the research that was out there about how anxiety is helpful in decreasing stress and anxiety. It is something we see come up again and again in the research. Plus, this made sense to me, all the yoga teachers I had ever met seemed very calm and relaxed. 

 Yoga is a Natural Remedy for Anxiety

I have a number of theories about why yoga is helpful with stress and anxiety. One of the theories has to do with breath. Yoga has a lot of focus on breath. In yoga how do we get through a hard pose? We use the breath.  How do we come back to our mat when our mind starts to wander? We use our breath. How do we often know how long to hold a pose? We count our breath. 

 Yoga as a form of Mindfulness and Stress Reduction

Another theory I have about why yoga is helpful with anxiety has to do with Mindfulness.  Weather we know it or not when we practice yoga, we practice Mindfulness. In yoga we are constantly practicing being fully on our mat, in mind and body. As our mind wanders we remind ourselves where we are in that moment, on our mat. I feel like I have trained my brain on this so well that every time I step on my mat a lot of the stress and worries starts to fade away even before I start moving. 

Yoga for Everyone

Have a physical injury or decreased mobility? This does not exclude you from yoga being an option for you. There are so many yoga varieties out there! Sure there is Power Yoga, and Vinyassa but there is also Slow Flow, Gentle, Restorative and even Chair Yoga. There is something out there for everyone no matter the limitations. Matthew Sanford is a famous yoga teacher who happens to also be a paraplegic.  

Yoga for Mental Health and General Well-being 

Another reason for doing yoga? Research shows it is linked with increased levels of well being. In the research study they had participants do various types of exercises and found that yoga participants reported increased sense of well being. Even when the science wasn’t showing participants being healthier from yoga, the participants felt healthier. 

Charlotte Therapist and Yoga Teacher

Theresa Leskowat LCMHC is a trained yoga teacher and mental health therapist in Charlotte, NC. Theresa is passionate about helping clients find natural ways of managing anxiety. Theresa provides cognitive behavioral therapy as a natural remedy for anxiety. Theresa offers anxiety therapy, depression treatment, therapy for trauma, divorce counseling, and counseling for stress management and managing perfectionism.

Mindfulness for Natural Anxiety Relief and Stress Management

So often in life we are busy thinking about what we need to do or worry about what will happen in the future or we are busy thinking about things that have already happened. How often do you think you are thinking about the moment you are currently living? This moment right here, right now. Because that is where life is lived. 

 

What is Mindfulness?

What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the practice of living in the moment and resisting the pull to other times and other places. Mindfulness is about tuning in. Where are you as you read this? Are you reading this on your phone at home? Or are you at your desk reading this on your computer? Maybe you are waiting in line somewhere reading this to pass the time. Wherever you are, let’s use our five senses to tune in to this moment. 

What do you see around you?

Maybe there are people around you. Or furniture. 

What do you hear? 

Maybe there are people talking or music playing. 

What do you smell? 

Maybe there is a smell of food or an air freshener. 

What do you feel?

 Maybe you are sitting and feel the contact with the chair or feel the ground beneath your feet. Maybe its hot where you are, or maybe its cold. 

What do you taste?

Maybe you still have the taste in your mouth from you last meal. Or from the coffee you are drinking. 

 Mindfulness as a Natural Remedy for Anxiety

This is mindfulness. And practicing mindfulness can be very helpful with managing stress and anxiety. Why? Because anxiety holds all of its power in the fear of the unknown, the fear of future. But we aren’t living in the future, we are living this moment here. And when we slow down to think about it, we often find that this moment really isn’t all that bad. 

Anxiety Relief in Charlotte, NC

Theresa Leskowat MS LCMHC is a mental health therapist and trained yoga teacher in Charlotte, NC. Theresa provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as a natural anxiety relief and stress management. Theresa also provides counseling for managing perfectionism and divorce recovery.

Exercise as a Natural Remedy for Anxiety and Depression

We all know that we should exercise. We hear it all the time. It’s good for our heart, lungs, muscles, and bones. But the part we don’t often talk about/hear about is how exercise supports mental health. 

The simple truth is we feel better both physically and mentally when we exercise. 

Exercise for Anxiety Relief

There is a part of the brain that sends anxiety signals to the other parts of your brain. This part of the brain triggers your fight-or-flight response. In therapy, we use approaches that help to calm and even shrink this part of the brain. Exercise also helps shrink this part of the brain that is sending the unnecessary distress signals!

The other way exercise can be helpful in managing anxiety is to manage the fight-or-flight response. Often this response gets turned on when fighting or running is not required. That big meeting at your office tomorrow? Running or fighting is probably not an option. But yet your brain thinks that’s exactly what you should be doing! That’s because for so much of human history that was the response needed in stressful situations. A wild animal approaching you in the woods? Better fight or run! 

When we exercise while stressed or anxious it sends the message to the brain that we did take care of it. Brain says run? Ok, take jog on a treadmill! Or bike a few miles on the stationary bike or on the bike trail. It closes the loop in your brain and its easier to relax.

Exercise for Reducing Depression

Exercise can help manage depression. In fact, studies have shown that regular exercise can be as effective as an anti-depressant. I will say it again, EXERCISE CAN BE AS EFFECTIVE AS AN ANTI-DEPRESSANT. We should talk about this more! 

The reason you don’t hear about this more is that often times the idea of exercise is hard. Its hard to motivate in the beginning and start a new routine. This is especially true when struggling with depression. Depression makes it hard to motivate and to want to take positive actions. This is because depression takes a toll on our energy level and our ability to see the possibility of it being truly helpful. 

We also live in society that looks for the quick easy fix and medication is often seen as that. But often times individuals don’t want to be on medication or want to be on medication long term. Exercise can be a great natural approach for managing mild depression or to prevent depression relapse. 

Medication is effective. Counseling is also effective. Combining the two gets even better results. Add in some exercise and you just might feel like a new person! 

 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Charlotte, NC

Theresa Leskowat MS LCMHC is a cognitive behavioral therapist in the Diworth area of Charlotte, NC. Theresa provides therapy for anxiety relief, depression relief, managing perfectionism and trauma.

A Charlotte Therapist’s Guide to Anxiety Counseling

What does anxiety counseling look like? How do you know if it is time to seek help?  How do you find a therapist in your area? How do you know if someone will be a good fit? What should you expect? Does therapy really work? There are so many questions and things to sort through when trying to set up a first counseling session. This is going to be a comprehensive guide to help you sort through as many of these questions as possible.

What is anxiety? 

Anxiety is a natural feeling that we all have sometime. Some people experience anxiety more than others and some individuals experience so much anxiety that is starts to have a negative impact on their life. 

Anxiety can often prevent individuals from going out and experiencing the world. New people and places can feel overwhelming . Often individuals who struggle with anxiety find it easier to stay home than to try to navigate social settings. It is not uncommon for someone with anxiety to agree to a social event and back out last minute due to feeling overwhelmed when it comes time to get ready. 

Symptoms of anxiety

• Heart beating fast

• Knots in stomach

• Hands sweaty or shaky

• Dizziness or feeling light headed

• Feeling that you can’t relax

Anxiety disorders and diagnosis

There are a number of different diagnosis that are housed under the umbrella of anxiety disorders. These include Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder, Specific Phobias, and Panic Disorders. Often times when people are talking about an anxiety disorder they are referring to Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) so that is what we will talk about here. 

The DSM is an exhaustive list of mental health disorders. Any time you see a therapist, especially if they are billing insurance for you, they will be consulting this book to see where your symptoms fit. We are currently on the fifth edition of the DSM.

Generalized anxiety disorder is described in the DSM as 

-having excessive anxiety and worry most days

-difficulty controlling the worry

-Experiencing three or more of the following

            -feeling keyed up or restless

            -tiring easily

            -trouble concentrating

            -feeling irritable

            - muscle tightness

            -difficulty sleeping

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Anxiety

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is shown to be the most effective in treating and managing symptoms of anxiety. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) we look at both your thoughts and behaviors. Sometimes we have thoughts that are not serving us. CBT will give you the tools to identify unhelpful thoughts and come up with replacement thoughts. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) we also look at how your actions are either increasing or decreasing your anxiety levels. An example of this is drinking coffee; drinking caffeine can often lead to more anxiety.

How to Find a Therapist

 There are several options for finding a good therapist. You may have a friend who has worked with a therapist they found helpful. Or maybe you have a friend who is a therapist. Due to ethics your friend would not be able to work with you, but they likely have some colleagues they trust. If you are looking to use insurance, you can reach out to your insurance for a list of names of providers. The Internet is also a great resource. Psychology Today has many profiles of local therapists. You can also refine your search by area, specialty, insurance, or type of therapy. You can read through several profiles to find which ones resonate with you! Finding a therapist you feel comfortable with and have a connection with is most important!

Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC), Licensed Social Worker (LCSW),  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) or Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist (LCAS)?

When you start your search you will notice there are a number of different letters behind the counselors names. These letters are also state specific, some states have slightly different letters, since I am in North Carolina that is the ones I will talk about here. Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC), Licensed Social Worker (LCSW),  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) or Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist (LCAS) are all Licensed professionals who have at least a Masters Degree. They are all trained be able to help you! If you are looking for a marriage therapist you may choose to go with an LMFT. Or if you struggle with drug dependence or abuse you may choose to seek out a LADC. Again I will say the most important thing will be finding someone you connect with and can trust. (Note: Life coaches are not licensed and there are currently no educational requirements for someone to be a life coach. You will likely want to work with someone who is well trained to be able to help you. So be on the look out for the above mentioned letters!)

Medication for Anxiety

Does medication work? Research shows that counseling is effective. Medication is also shown to be effective. Together individuals get the best results. The question of if medication is right for you is a great conversation for you to have with your doctor. It is a very personal question with many things to consider. 

Does counseling work?

Research shows that it does! And I see the power of therapy everyday in my office. One of the great things about therapy is that you will learn skills that you will take with you. Skills that will be there even after you complete therapy. Medication is effective but only for as long as you are on it. It is not uncommon for individuals to come to therapy to avoid taking medication.

What to expect

Your first counseling session is an “intake session”. In that session your therapist will be gathering all sorts of information from you. Such as what brings you to therapy, symptoms, and any other relevant information. In the first session or couple of sessions you will likely work with your therapist to set goals for treatment. These goals serve as a type of roadmap for therapy. The goal of therapy is to work toward discharge! So it helps to begin with the end in mind to use as a compass during treatment. This may look like communicating to your therapist how you imagine your life when you are done with therapy. You may not always be able to see the end in sight but that is what your therapist is for!

 Therapy in Charlotte, NC

If you are in Charlotte, NC and looking for a therapist I would be happy to see if you and I might be a good fit. I provide a free 15 minute consultation. If we are not a good fit, I can try to give you a name of someone who I trust that I think would be! Schedule your free consultation today. I would love to hear how I can support you.

About the author:

An anxiety therapist

Theresa Leskowat MS LPC is a local Charlotte therapist who specializes in anxiety treatment. Theresa’s Dilworth Counseling Practice is located on East Blvd. Theresa also provides therapy for stress management, divorce counseling, and therapy for perfectionists.